Poetry: "The Life of a G!"

Its hard livin the life
of a g! looking ova my
shoulder at the age of
sixteen. Thinkin what
will happen to me am
I gonna get jumped
shanked a bullet to
my brain? or am I gonna
get to spend another
day with my family. I
know I messed up choosin
this life but know it's time
will I live or die. Thats just
the thing nothing in this
worlds perfect, wait I dont
believe that you see she
my daughter shes undefeated
shes the most precious thing
that Ive ever seen and I pray
to god she don't bang at the
age of thirteen. This aint
the life for a little gir no
doubt about it, it may seem
cool it may seem fun, but its
not the life to be livin on
the run, to have to cary a
gun so you dont get shot
but cops dont care it's just
another bullet on the block
just another Mexican, cops dont
care cuz most of them are
different skin. But I can't
change that, thats their
problem. I got enough of them
as it is but thats how it
is to live the life of a g
you never know what to
expect sometimes I look at
myself then at my man and
think do I really want this
life around my kid. I never
once asked if it scared
her. did we prepare her
never ment to scare her
what does she see through
her little brown eyes Mom
and dad always having
fights. Moms sorry I never
ment to have you see that
but just remember we love
and we never ment to hurt
you. never ment to make you cry
we want to see you smile
tell the day that we die. you
know hun its craz we lost
your little sister but I know in time
you'll learn to miss her. I know
I miss her daddy even misses
her but just remember baby
shes in a better place and
we can't change that no
one understand why it
happened thats why I seem to
cry and cry. Why are we
left here to suffer, what
did I do what did I say to
make god change his ways.
That was my baby I watched
her grow, then you took her
away like it was nothing at
all I cant believe it. I feel
so defeated my hearts torn
to tiny little ity pieces. She
never got a chance to take
her first breath to get her
first glance when she came
she was so tiny so perfect I
didnt understand why she was
just as big as my hand
but what happend, happened
I'll just keep pushin tell the
very end.

MS, age 16