Class Poetry: "Take a Look and Tell Me"

Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A gang member who's trying to find her way out. 

Pushin her way through the dark clouds

hoping one day she will find the light

that everyone says is so bright.

Im going to make it cuz I told god I would

change my ways for my daughter, my father,

and my family. They believe in me they never let me fall.

But that one guy that threw me to the wall. he always

let me fall always had to hit always had to fight he 

turned my life to the blackest of night. 

MS, age  16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A young man stuck in DT

with no place to be

with all the troubles he may see

waiting for his court date to see 

if he'll be free

RE, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A big black hole swallowing everything in sight of me.

Then I see a bit of crap that I let dwell

deep inside getting shoved back while

Everything keeps piling on top of me an

there is greatness locked in a chest

titled DO NOT OPEN ME. So I am forever

searching for that key and with help from

few I can be just like you.

SN, age 17

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

I see kid that now has bin lock 

up for a min but now I em in it to 

wen it. I cant wate to get out of here

so I can go live with no fear. I em going to 

stear in the clear and be good.

MN, age 15

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A kid who doesn't like being in this facility

but has an opportunity to change his life

so i can be out and have kids and a wife

but first i must change my ways

to be happy and enjoy the rest of my days.

AR, age 17

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

Im sorry for what I did if I could

change it you no I would. But I 

can't and I no I should. If you 

could would you pleez help me.

I found my way to seccess and these 

words are true. Being locked up isitent the way 

I want to go and now I no what I want in my life.

FC, age 13

Class Poetry: "Take a Look and Tell Me"

Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see
me in recovery waiting to get out and see my lady. I just found out she has my baby. Can't wait to feel the first kick but till then I'll watch time tick it makes me sick that it had to come to this to finally click. Life has hit me like a thousand pound brick. My whole life I've been a royal prick. Playing life like it's a car trick time to not be a fool and get back in school, time to help my baby never gonna have to be shady towards my baby got to set a good example and prove lifes not just a free sample its a test forget the rest when I'm with my familys when I feel best. No more drugs or running with thugs. Just us.
CM, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see
I see a man, strong and fearless as a lion, as delecate and peaceful as a dove,
but like a lone wolf, denying and never seeking love, what I see is my destiny
carved by my desire to lead, I was birthed by darkness, throngs the pain I've gained.
I hold the sun and the moon in my hands and with that I have belong the right hand of death.
JP, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see
A kid who doesn't like poetry is what I see. I'd rather be stung by a poisonous bee. Or get run over by a SUV, or be swallowed up by a giant squid in the sea because I do not do poetry.
MT, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see
I look in the mirror and i ask myself why,
why did you do this to yourself was your life not good enough,
why didn't you play the tape to the end before making your decision
do you realize how deep your whole is dug, do you realize you have to make things right
and fill that hole back in, do you really? I do
JC, age 17

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see
Someone who loves so deep to imagine
someone who cares and gets sad over the tease of others.
Someone who forgot the battle and has now won.
And finally someone who is remembered for great things.
AS, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

a very confused person

who is very infused with strange things, intell that day finaly came

where someone came along & defused that destructive behaver.

When i look back i can't help but pack my backpack & move forward

in hopes of my baby never sayin maybe one day she will be a younge

lady. im hopin she dont go after some dude that act a fool like i did. 

But hey look who the fool is now not me. i got my head on straight.

What about you? 

SC, age 16

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A muslim

who got knowledge and wisdom.

I aint shady

but sometimes I'm crazy

when I come around

they bow down

cause I got that crown

yes Im that queen bee

so, step and see

or fall back

and get smacked.

TP, age 17

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

A soul trying so hard to be

But hasn't yet found a way to agree

with all the conflict inside of me

the fire the ice enough to make the

biggest men flee so take a look

And tell me what you see in me 

And tell me what you think I should be.

ZH, age 17

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Take a look and tell me, what you see in me, this is what I see

I see a young man

A young man trying to succeed

A young man going through a hard time

But this young man 

He can succeed

He has the potential to succeed

But this young man keeps messing up

But he has tried and tried to succeed

Finaly he has succeeded

Finaly he is free

GL, age 16

Everyone Has a Story: "Saving My Family"

I was looking for his "stash." I found it-- a box full of pills, baggies of coke, vials of heroin, and a pipe of weed. "This is whats hurting this family," I said. I got it and I went in our backyard. I got the lighter that was in there and I got the kerosine that was in the garage. I put the box on the ground and filled it full of kerosine, then I made a trail of it so it wouldn't explode in my face, right when I lit it, he came home. He went immediatly to his room to look for the "stash." I heard him yelling in anger at how he knew it was there.

He rushed outside and came at me with his fists clenched. I was ready but he didnt go to me, he went to the fire, he put out his hands in it and yelped in pain. "WHAT THE *&^%$& DID YOU DO?!?!" I said that I was fixing this family from your addiction. He hit me with his fists. I hit the ground and went unconsious. I woke up about 5 hours later in ICU. I didn't say anything about his hitting me to the doctors, but I had a bruise in the shape of a fist and a split scalp from the rock. That was my first time going unconsious. He never did stop and he routinely hit me after that.

I will never forgive him for the drugs he used. That's why I will never do drugs.

L.S., age 14

Everyone Has a Story: "My Dad's Last Words"

I felt pretty special to be sitting in the front seat on the way to school. Mom never let me sit up front, but Dad didn't mind it much as long as I buckled up. I loved how Dad drove. He had a lead foot and loved speed as did I.

It was silent in the car, and I hated it. After a period of long silence I reached up for the volume knob and turned the music up. After a few seconds, Dad turned it back down. "Hey, I like that song, Dad," I said though I really didn't recognize the song. I just hated the dead air.

"First grade, huh?" he said half-smiling at me. "You're getting old." I just smiled and nodded my head, silence almost came instantly again. The trees and houses we were passing seemed to be going by more slowly. Dad was slowing down.

"I'm going to miss you." I cocked my head back and nudged him in the shoulder. "Dad, Mom is dropping me off at your house tonight. I'll see you then." More silence as we pulled up to the elementary drop-off. We gently rolled to a hault. He parked the car and got out and came to my side. I hopped out of the car and we started for the door. Dad never walked me to the door, but yet I can't say I didn't like it. It was just weird, he was being weird.

We made it to the front door, and I reached for the handle to walk in, but Dad stopped me. He kneeled down next to me and looked in my eyes. A tear began to form in the corner of his eye until it began to trickle down his face.

"I love you, Son." I reached up and grabbed his cheek and wiped the tear from his cheek. He hugged me tightly and when we finally un-clinged from each other, I pulled back and put my hand on his shoulder.

"You're being kinda silly, Dad. But I love you too." With that he got up and walked to the car. I turned and walked through the door, not knowing that that would be the last time I would see him alive.

I sat there on the porch after school ended, waiting for my mother. Two hours had elapsed. My teacher came out and told me she got ahold of my mother and that she would be here shortly. Sure enough my mother came around the corner and pulled up to the drop-off.

She looked awful. Smeared makeup on her face was noticeable, and so were her puffy eyes. She had been crying. I know she had been.

Later that night, I learned that my father committed suicide. Fire burned my heart, and pain immensely took over my body. I cherished his last words to me, "I love you."

Everyone Has a Story: "My Life Story"

My life story. I have had a hard life. I have been to detention 2 times. I've been to a rehab center and now here. I have a step dad that is abusive, he hits and pushes my mom and he chokes her. I have been so scared most of the times. I want to stop him but I'm afraid he will hurt me. He does pot everyday. He has pushed and thrown me before. I have been really stressed out because of it.

I started doing drugs and then my life went downhill. I have always wanted to become a racer and go pro. When I get out I am going to change and become a racer and not do drugs because my mom and me are going to move away from him and because I want to change. I don't want my mom feeling like she doesn't know where I am. I want her to feel that I am safe, not doing drugs, and not getting in trouble. That is my highest of the most highest goal. I NEED to do for her, myself, and my brother. My mom is going to get a divorce with my stepdad and get a new boyfriend. He is pretty cool. I hope my mom is happy with my disitions [decisions] when I get out.

CBP, age 13

Why I do what I do in Juvenile Detention -- by Sarah

The Starfish Story  

Original Story by: Loren Eisley

One day a man was walking along the beach when he noticed a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. 

Approaching the boy, he asked, "What are you doing?"

The youth replied, "Throwing starfish back into the ocean. The surf is up and the tide is going out.  If I don't throw them back, they'll die."

"Son," the man said, "don't you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can't make a difference!"

After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it back into the surf.  

Then, smiling at the man, he said "I made a difference for that one."

With thanks to Mr. Spense for reminding me of this.... 

Everybody Has a Story: Its not no Fairytell

You know when your kid lifes supposed to be fun and games.... mine was kind of like hell. When I was young I had to watch my mom and dad fight over who got the last hit from the pipe or who gets the last pills. My house was never normal. My mom was gang related and that's how she taught me... ever since I was young that what Ive known how to live on the streets and how to handle my own. My dad was tired of my moms gangster friends so he told us he was going to work and never came home. Thats when everything went crazy!

My life went even more downhill. My older cousin was molesting me every day and my mom was to high to believe me. I hated everyone. The only ones I had were my sisters. Our mom was into drugs, alcohol, and her new boyfriend.... I was scared to be in my own house because my mom and stepdad were always drunk and fighting. I really tough I had no one. My sisters were always busy partying and my dad was gone. I didnt go to school that much because my mom would always have an excuse to keep me home.

A couple years went by and my mom was really sick. She was having a lot of ceasures and one time her friend was over and my mom started having another ceasure and then she stopped breathing. We called the ambulance and they came and took her. When me my sisters and my aunt got to the hospital the doctor told us they had to pump her stomache to get the drugs out. When they did that water got in her lungs and gave her namonia. My mom was really mad that she was in the hospital and when we were talking to the doctor my mom checked herself out. She wasn't in her room so we asked a nurse where she went and she told us and we all were so mad.

We went home and my mom was already in her room. I was going to go and talk to her but my aunt said she would later that night. My mom called me upstairs to talk. I told her I was mad at her and didn't want to. She said "mija porfavor. Im sorry. Please just lay in bed with me porfavor." I told her no.... the last thing I told my mom was I hate you! For half the night she was calling my name and I layed there awake crying until it stopped. the next morning I went to tell her I was going to school and that I love her and she was dead overdosed, took the easy way out!

Thats when it hit me you never know what you got tell its gone. So I moved out here with my dad and Ive been in and out of DT and programs ever since. Everyone says Im just like my mom a gangbanger who only cares about the homies and meth! Thats not true. I care about my family but people dont get it. The world is a messed up place. It's not no fairytell.

Poem: Helping Hands

When you want to cry
or even die
you need to understand
& take the helping hand
when your nee's are on the ground
you hear two sounds
the sound of your fear
it seem's so queer
when you hear the right voice
you feel so rejoice
so you start to feel
emotions that are real
now you understand
you should take a helping hand.

A.A., age 15

Everybody Has a Story: Part 1

My name is A and one of my story is when i lost my brouther. My brouther whent at a party in Africa and then we hade a lot of fun then we where geting ready to eat somthing they tried to poison me and my brouther and they put poison in my food but i said I wasent hungry. And my brouther was starving so he ate his food then after that me and my brouther left then my brouther said "I dont feel good." Then after that it was dark out and we where walking then sombody came out of the bushes and shot my brother in the head. Then i ran away the guy was chasing me then i came to my friends house i went in my friends house. Then my friends dad came out whith a gun and shot the guy.

I was scared that night i dreamed about what happed to my brouther and i woke up in the middle of the night and i stared crying. Then my friend walked in the room he saw me crying and asked me "what's the matter?" I said "Dont worrey about it" after that he left to his room then the next day me and my friend where walking to school we whear late to school and the theacher asked us where we where. Then me and my friend where scared because me and him where late to class so the teacher got mad and beat us up with a stick. Then after school me and my friend where walking down the street when we went to the park. Then me and my friend wher sitting at the swings then this car came out of no whear then shot my friend when i saw my friend die i ran away as fast as i could then i finaly got away from the guy who was shooting at us.

My friend died but i lived so know i tell my story from my life and after my friend died i went to the doctor to see if i was okay the doctor saied  i had mindproblems or i will get mind problems if i saw sombody ied. Then one year latter i stared seeing diead people and i would talk to theam but they would just stay there and stear at me. i was scared but it looked alive the onley way i knew was my mom was walking then she walked right through him. i told my mom did you saw that kid staning there she said what kid then walked away i knew it was my friend.

A. age 13

Poem: Gangs

What are they for
Why are they here
To claime terrotory
They do not possess
To fire a weapon
At an inosent child
Bring drugs to our streets
To tear up our familys
Gangs
What do they want
Do they want our possesions
Do they want our kids
Are they here to steal drugs
To act as the greatest
For what
What happened to civil rights
I thought color didn't
Matter
Now if you throw on
the wrong color
You loose your life.

A.M., age 14

Poem: The tunnle to the Camera

I see the light, at the end of
the tunnle, it sure is bright the
close I get the faster i run
it sure has been bad but now it's
getting better, I wanted to stay in
this dark dark tunnle but it
sure is cold, in the camera room-
Im on in 10 minuet watch I guess it
is okay they do it to see if
im dead today, I made a mistake,
letting myself think these thoughts but im
pretty chill, talking to control.
Thank you valdez, sending me
here, I hope you see that I have
changed. Please.

L.S., age 14

Poem: Love

Love it's just a word
It sounds so upsurd
It comes from above
Just like a dove
Some people say it's crazy
I say it's like a daisy.
When your in this trance
You want to dance.
You follow this feeling
completely willing
When it comes down
On your crown
You get so sad
Poor little lad.
you need to be careful
& still be thoughtful.
Lend your heart for a whil
& trust me you will smile.

A.D.A., age 15

One Thing I'm Going to Do Differently...

-"I will listen to my parents and Go to school." R.C., age 14

-"I am not going to play the Victim in life." S.S., age 17

-"As I leave O&A I am going to be changing my mentality as a person. Changing the way I view things. Being Drug Free." K.R., age 16

-"I am going to go back to school." A.L.,age 16

-"When I go home I am going to spend more time with my family and less time with my friends." M.D., age 17

-"I will live a pure honest life following the path of enlightenment. Through the rules of Dharma, I will be a good influence on my nephew. So he doesn't make the same mistakes that I have. I will think before acting by thinking of all the consequences. I will prove that I have changed Because I know actions are better than words. I will use what I have learn from O&A to help me succeed and reach my goals to become who I am destined to be." R.S., age 16

-"What I am going to do different is am not going to talk back to anyone." P.S., age 15

-"When I get out I'm going to work harder to be better!!!" T.C.

-"One thing I will do different when I leave O&A is I'm not going to worry so much about friends but I'm going to focus on school my family & sports." M.Z.

-"One thing I am going to do diffent is stop hang out with those negitive friend and givin the cops a bad time." P.R., age 16

-"One thing I'm gunna do differently when I leave O&A is follow through with my probation so I dont get in trouble no more." M.H., age 16

Poem: If Only

Though heart ache can take and take and leave you so awake,
don't want to sleep just wee and weep,
you cry for lovers sake
the dreams are sad and lonely too
it hurts to sit, day dream about you.
My tears are acid, they burn my eyes,
wondering if you hear my crys
I ask for help, you just ignore
If only, if only you'd just adore
I hope one day, I wake up happy
because looking at the ceiling makes me feel like I'm mping
My soal is an adventure, so I take my time
I don't understand it but I will someday find.

R.M.

Poem: Look What You Did to Them

Look what happened,
Look what you've done,
Look at the example you made,
See the way you've become!
See the way you've changed,
See the way you've hurt them,
Do you know how to change,
Do you care at all.
Do you have any idea,
What will you do,
What will happen next,
What is going to change

T.H., age 17

Poem: How do I

How do I
Become the one
The worst of all
To answer the devils clal
To walk then fall
I used to walk so tall
But then I fell
Fell in love
With the rush
It had me there
For a while
Then I think
Is it time to change
Change the past
Stop wearing the devils mask
I don't have to
Be the one
Always feal
I have to run
Runaway
From all my troubles.

A.M., age 14

One Thing I'm Going to Do Differently...

-"One thing I am going to change/do differently is go to school stay in school. Change my friends listen to my parents be responsible for my own actions dont blame other people. Respect my brother & siblings." D.I., age 16

-"I will change the way I think about myself and respecting authority. Authority is essential for society, therefore must be respected. Respect Authority!" S.

-"I will not go back to my old friends." E.C., age 15

-"Stay in school." V.R.

-"Stop doing the crimes that got me here and get a job." D.T., age 16

-"I'm going to respet more This program is good for you." D.P., age 15

-"When I leave O&A I will spend more time with family and get rid of my bad friends." A.G.

-"What I'll do differently is be where I say I'm gonna be, be around the people who help better me, be a role model for my 3 little sisters, and a support for my older brother. If I accomplish these things I know I will succeed in everything good I want for myself. I will never come back to a place like this. I can do it." M.L.

-"When I get out of O&A I will make shore to think before I do things also not to hange around negative people also spend more time with loved ones and family." J.M., age 16

-"One thing Ima do different when I leave O&A is change my life and stop doing drugs!" S.M., age 14

-"One thing I will do different when I leave O&A is reach my goals that I have set and stop doing drugs and most important, treat my family with more respect. I will also make better choices on everything especially friends." C.L., age 17

-"Stop Smokin." L.J., age 14

-"When I get out I will not smoke weed, or fight anymore. I will be honest with myself and everyone else." D.C., age 16

-"I am going to stop drinking and go back to church." D.J., age 17

-"I'm going to stay drug free and get back into sports." M.R., age 15

Short Poems

Pride

My Pride gots the best of me

You best believe these streets are

Going to be the Death of me

I never had time to hit the 

Penetentury

------------

Who Down
who's down to ride
who's down to roll
let me know right now
because I am
walking out da door

------------
Lost in a cloud of smoke
I was lost in a cloud of smoke
And I can't see to find my Way
Back home to you.

-----------
Pain
As he beats too
you try to get away as
you try to get away
but he grabs you
'n' beats you again.
tell your black and blue.

------------
When Im High
When Im high
Im High to the sky
When I am in the sky
I meet a man
a man that set me free from my pain
that I have inside me.

B.C., 15

Poem: I am a Goldfish

I live in a tank
I eat in a tank
I sleep in a tank
I suffer in a tank
I died float in a tank
I am a goldfish.

I wish i was not in a tank
I wish i was out of this tank
I will get back out of this tank
I hope i go home to the sea and not in a tank
I will get out of this tank
I am a goldfish.

I will go home someday
I am going to get out
I am getting out someday
I will sea my family again
I will get back out
I am a goldfish.

D.S., age 14

Poem: Pain, That's what it brought me

All the choices I have made.
Had me locked behind a door.
On a cement slab is where I laid
Wishing I could do more.

What I was doing was wrong
"This isn't me" I would say.
For I knew I was strong
To put my foot down and turn away.

I was living a life of hell
What I thought was fun, you see,
was really pain hiding in a shell
And pain, is what it brought me.

Plus what is fun anyway?
Disrespect, lies, and the laws I was breakin'?
Friends were not friends at all
For I had surely been mistakin'?

Now the present is what it is,
The past you cannot change
But by making right choices
The future you can arrange.

I can no longer live this life,
going down this destructive path,
It's time I end this strife.
And put to death this awful wrath.

I've chosen to again rise above,
to live right, pure and free
to reach out to the ones I love
Because pain is all it brought me.

N.O., age 17

One Thing I'm Going to Do Differently...

-"Im going to go back to school and do good in school." L.D., age 13

"When I leave O&A, Imma drop some of my friends, stick with family, show Them I can do good & not fail at everything I do I can do it. Im thankful that I came to O&A." M.P., age 15

"I'm going to stay Sober & Healthy." D.B., age 17

"When i leave O&A one thing i will do diffrently is try my hardest to succeed in life no matter how hard it gets." D.M., age 16

"Thank you for helping with my problems You guys are the best You know why because you helped O&A you helped me a lot thats all I have to say to my peers Thank you for helping to understand" A.M., age 17

-"Things I will change is my behavior and my perseption. I have learned Alot from this program and I intend to apply it. I messed up a couple years in my life and will not let it happen further." A.H., age 16

-"When i leave O&A I'm going to stay off drugs and acohol. My family needs me and they want me to help them. This is the longest I've been away from my family. I want to be a leader and follow my own leaders. Gratitude is Truely the secret to true happiness! A smart man learns from his mistakes, a smarter man learns from others!" M.R., age 16

-"When I leave O&A I will chill till I done and do what I got to do when i need to do it." M.M., age 16

-"One thing im gonna do differently when i leave O&A is... Im gonna apply what i learned in this program when im on the outs." J.G.

-"I'm going to find new friends and stick with sports and them to find positive ways to get away from my old life." N.K.

-"When I leave, my family is going to see a big change in me and Im going to love and protect my family more!! Im going to show them Im not like my stepdad." B.P., age 16

-"Stop making the easy choices and start making choices for me." K.A., age 17

-"I am going to be honest in all things. have integrety be strong it won't last forever." B.J., age 17

-"When i get out of O&A im going to have a better life and stay out of trouble and walk away from problems." J.L., age 14

-"One thing I will do differently is: stop hanging around old friends, and make the right decisions and live a happy, prosperous life." S.C., age 17

Poem: Addiction

feeding off hatred and evil with every breath
with clouds of darkness feasting off flesh
my conscious is flowing with deadly illusions
behind these walls of so much anger and confusion
I need it to stop, which it probably never will
with its parasital urges so eager to kill.

C.M., age 16

Class Poetry: "Take a Look and Tell Me"

Take a Look and Tell me
What you See in Me
This is what I see

I see the one
the one to make it
And not to take it
the one to quit
Quit doin wrong
I can not be locked up any longer
then I wonder
when i will go under
6 feet under
then i feal
feal a feeling
the rush
the only way to cope
with this odd world.

A.M., age 14

Everyone Has a Story: "Life"

It all began 1993 when for the first time my wonderful parents would see me.  I assumed that they would love me because for 9 straight months my mother took care of me, fed me and always carried me. I grew up in a descent home with a descent family, grew up fast. My family somewhat poor even came to the point where I asked for toys knocking from door to door. I have no idea why such at a young age my father decided to leave not even looking at his son's face. to much drama maybe could handle a baby mamma but why didn't he think of that before saying oops my bad. Maybe it wasn't always him making bad decisions. Maybe because of his parents pressuring him to leave his wife who cares about the child. Wow, this situation grow oh so wild.

They called themselves Religious. At one point even Christians but why would you hire a witch to cross a kids veins to me that makes 0% sense. Thank god my mother said no or else I would have been gone with absolutely no hope. No one would of brought him back not even a priest not even the Pope. I guess without him for the Mother and Son they would starve and wouldn't have water to drink. At least that's what he would always think. I guess since Birth Death has been wanting to take me away. I remember a day when I was eating candy and felt it go down my throat got stuck there wouldn't go down any more tried to ask for help because I was being chocked. I was outside in the dark with no one around, ran back home pounding on the door with no one to help me feeling scared and alone. Finally my grandma came out with a shout happy to see me although lived down the road. She saw my anxiety figured me out gave me a piece of bannana finally swallowed it down. Don't know how it worked but I thank god for her helping me out.

Years later my father saw my mother he asks have you found another. What kind of question is that when you left your son back didn't have the balls to support and even give up change to get your own son's diapers changed. She said screw you, forget about it I know I can do it on my own. We'll make it through life. Little did she knows there were days she had to sacrafice her own food in order for her young one to survive.

There came good times and bad like when I saw my mother trying to hide because of all the tears coming out of her eyes I told her don't worry don't cry I love you I love you don't worry it will all be okay. I was so young little did I know we barely had money to make a payment for the place we used to stay. To me time was nothing but fun and play but to my mother it was where will we go next? Time passed by my mother grew strong found a good job even getting to be by her son. School was fun. Mornings were rough I grew older We moved to a new place I got used to growing up on my own but never alone. Thanks god for the mother you blessed me with. I love her to death would never replace her.

I don't care what anyone says but to me she is the best. She took care of me since day one never knew what I'd look like but she knew she loved me when I was in her stomach. She would talk to me as if she knew I was listening she did it alone without the help of what is supposed to be a man, the love of her life. But better off alone than being accompanied by the wrong person or who is not worth being with. I know everything happens for a reason and I thank god till this day because after all the struggles He has us together being successful riding in nice cars living in a nice home even got a new person joining the family.

My little sister because after all my mother met that special someone or her true love. She deserves to be happy after all these years she learned the ways of god and she says she sees me in a stadium preaching the gospel to millions one day and if its gods choice to put me up there hopefully I can make my mothers and my dream come true.

Look at me how I am 17, got a job, I am a young adult doing it on my own. Thanks to go he has us healthy. I know I've made mistakes, but I also have learned that learning from our mistakes is what is important and improve not just taking everything for granted and not caring or changing. Thanks to god for my family, peers, and staff.

L. G., age 17

One Thing I'm Going to Do Differently...

-"When I leave O&A Im going to go to school, dont sluff, and stay in school until I graduate." I.F., age 15

-"I'm Going To Make Better Decisions When I Get Out." R.Y., age 15

-"One thing that I will do diffrently when I leave O&A is Im not going to take my mom's car out for a joy ride during church, but come home be honest about it. I aint going to lie to my parents no more." L.J., age 15

-"When I get out I will Be nicer to my younger/older sisters." D.B., age 14

-"One thing I'm going to do diffrently is think before I act." C.H.

-"Stay off Drug's." J.B., age 14

-"When I get out I got to change my ways and stop my drug & alcohol use. I'm going to change my thinking ways." W.M.

-"One thing I will do differently when I leave O&A is treat my family with respect and go to school." B.C., age 16

-"Im going to go back to school and stop doing drugs." J.J., age 17

-"One thing Ima do different is go to church and stay drug free." C.S.

-"When I get out of this Places I'm going to be good." J.Z., age 14

-"Something ill do different is, stay out of trouble get my job back, become a prosnowboarder get ready for collage and do my work in everything i do.. I have learned what to say no to and how to approache it I no I can do it and will do it. thank you Sarah!!! Peace." A.P.

-"What Im going to do when I leave is get a job and graduate high school & college and not go back with my old friends That's how Im going to change." K.G., age 17

-"When I leave O&A I'm going to listen to my mom. Go to school. And complete probation. Also I'm going to try to graduate from high school. Keep my head up & stay positive." A.P.

-"I am gonna change my ways and follow what my dad says." M.B., age 15

Song: Say Understand

Say thenes a way that I was lost in broken skys

threw my all seeing eyes I knew it all,

and all I have to say is you--

is that you took my heart right through all the pain,

when rain would fall,

Ide hoped to catch them all, but from the start

you were my soal you take my hand say understand

you always knew said I got you say understand

but when my changes made a way, the sun set

brighter days, I wouldn't rest, till I found the best

no running away. Im here to stay

R.M.

Haikus by Mr. Spense

slow motion runner

thin red cheek molasses queen

will your knees survive 

Six boys on one car

Like maggots on a dead cat

Buffing steel and chrome 

Poem: I am Art

I am art

I wonder about designs

I hear my creations

I see paintings

I want an art studio

I am art

I pretend to be my pictures

I feel like a star

I do my own work

I worry about what's to come

I cry beautiful images

I am art

I understand what others don't

I say I am the best artist

I wish dreams

I try my best to be an artist

I hope this all comes true

I am art

L.B., age 15

Poem: Haiku

I look at my bowl

I pour cereal in it

I eat some breakfast

L.B., age 15

One Thing I'm Going to Do Differently...

-"One thing im going to do different is im going to Think Long Term and not short term." T.H., age 17

-"Not smoke any more. And not come back to farmington bay." B.H.

-"Not get in trouble Be respectful to my mother treat others the way I wanted to be treated." R.G., age 16

-"Say NO to Drugs and go back to school and help my mom." T.H., age 15

-"I will stay away from Gangs and focus my time on positive activities." T.C., age 16

-"One thing I will do when I am outta Here at this popsicle Joint, I will not have Bad Friends who help me Choose wrong decisions, and think right." N.J.

-"Become closer to my parents & family. Talk to them about what troubles me in life." J.H.

-"One thing that I will change when I leave O&A is change my friends & apply myself in school." J.G., age 15

-"When I leave O&A I want to be ablet o control my anger and be a positive roll model for my son and stay out of trouble not just for myself But for my son and wife." S.M., age 17

-"When I leave O&A I will make Better choices and I'm going to get a job and help with my little brothers." A.G., age 17

-"I will stay sober!" R.M., age 17

-"I want to do my best and finish school and followe my mom rules and probation and do my best I can do It" P.M., age 16

-"Im gonna stay a way from the green herb." H.B., age 13

-"One thing I'll do diffrent when I get out Ima Think for Myself and help my Mom out and stay out, but Ima still sag [my pants]." P.C., age 14

-"I will go back to school; get out of trouble and stay out." S.G., age 17

-"When I Leave O&A I'm Going to NOT Get ANY More Charges!!!" G.U.

Poem: Rain

Tip Tap tip tap
Rain is beautiful
Rain is life
it makes air fresh and pure
it cleans the earth
purifys it so we can all live in it

I love rain
How it soaks my hair
The way it drip down my face
How it feels so soft on my skin
Rain is like drops of heaven

Rain is free
Amazing
Brings life to our planet
What would we do without rain?

Rain, rain, please don't go away.

M.D., age 14

Poem: Ryming Poem

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Iv never smelt someone, as stinky as you, so go take a shower, and make it an hour, scrub with lots of power, so you smell like a flower, then at the end, we will all pretend, that you never smelt so bad and be your friend, and thats the end, until you stink again.

J.G.

Everyone Has a Story: "My Story"

My name is A. I was born in Utah, i've lived in _(city)_ most my life. I had a good childhood like normal kids, played outside, played games, and colored pictures. That was till I turned 7, my uncle died, my dads brother. So they had the body driven to Utah because thats where his mom and family lived and then my mom out of the kindness of her  heart took the widow and her 2 kids in after the funarul. A couple months had past and my mom and dad started arguing more often. then one day my dad did not come home from work. Later we got a call from him he said he was in _(state)_ with his brother's wife. Then he came back to get his stuff and i remember riding in the U-haul and my parents were fighting, then when we got to our house, the last thing for a while my dad said "I will be back."

After that we were not making enough money to pay the rent so we moved to _(state)_ and we lived with my moms parents. Then my older brother assaulted my little sister. So me and my brother and sister and mom moved to the middle of nowhere till we moved back to Utah. They weren't the greatest of times eather. We were eating and stuff and had clean clothes, but thats not where it ends. I know most people wish this were a happy ending but not in this story.

A little later it all started for me. I started stealing from gas stations then I got caught. I was not charged or anything. He just gave me a talk and gave me a ride to school then I stoped for a while and in 2nd grade we had people that take the lunch money, I took $10 then at recess I kept beting people and i guess i bet the wrong people. The teacher found out and i got my parents called and i got into trouble, not with the law just with my mom. Then I really just stopped. Life was going back to normal. I was playing outside again and becoming a kid again and then i came home one friday from school. And when i opened the door my mom was yelling at my older brother. Then i may have heard the worst words I could ever hear, it happened again. He assaulted my 4 year old sister. He wasn't let off easy this time. He was in state custody for 4 years.

I guess i stopped stealing for that period of time. A few years past and he was let out at 16. He got out and the state gave him a scholarship and he is going to school and that's when i started stealing again. now i'm 11. i was stealing from my mom and stores. Soon the stealing stopped when we moved.......Then gradually I reached 7th grade, i was still constantly stealing stuff that i wanted. it soon become the feeling of success and just the fealing of I did something and it payed off.

So back to my life, the stealing was pilling up candy rappers everywhere and no explanation of where they came from. Soon on my birthday my mom she found all the stuff. She sent me to bed and I didn't get cake or anything. so i went on and kep stealing then i go caught stealing at school then i came to detention for 2 days. Then I did 30 days on house arrest then i got off and was doing good. Then i got caught stealing at school again, then I had to do 60 days of house arrest then I got caught again. And again.

Poem: You were My Brother

You were my brother, my very best homie, you were always down for mine
Showing much respect to me.

We were so close I loved having you here, if it was up to me you would still
Be here.

You didn't deserve that shot, you were a soldier, for your life you fought.

I stood there next to you not leaving your side, you tried to stay calm but the
Pain on your face you couldn't hide.

As I looked around the room I saw faces full of tears, my nightmare was coming
True loosing you through a bullet was my greatest fears.

When you left I felt so alone, I didn't know what to do. I begged god to bring you back,
or to take me with you.

You left us down here with our hearts full of pain; I should have tried harder to get you
On the right lane.

As I watched you lay in silence, I saw my last tears drop. What happened to that boy who
said he'd make it to the top?

I now realize you haven't left you're always here with me, and all this guilt and anger is
something you would want me to set free.

No matter what I'll miss you, you'll always be my best friend, and your love and
kindness is something I'll hold inside of me until I reach the end.

E.C., age 15

Poem: I Cry and Die Inside

i cry and die inside. i am broken. slowly puting myself back together. all i can think of is when i was looking up from the ground when you knocked me down. puttin my arms out trying to catch my homie be4 he hitz ground. as blood splatz i try to shead no tearz but for i no your fate. your love is true an i love you. i do. now i pray to you. i do because i love you and i will stay true.

R.I.P.

D.W., age 14

Everyone Has a Story: "O.D."

3 am. December 18th. I never thought I would have to see not just one but four of my friends all O.D. (overdose) at once. I can't tell you there names but the inatles of there names or nicknames. That morning before was like any other. We met up and smoked some weed the usual six "B"s, some kid I didn't know, and I. At first I was going to be harmless just some weed but that was not enough for the rest of the guys. They wanted some cheese (street name for heroin). I told them I would help them find some but would not touch the stuff. None of us had any money so we split up and did what we usually did to get money. We would panhandle at the local stores. Asking strangers for money. The funny thing was they would give us the money. So when we had the money we would get in T's car and we drove to _(city)_ to get it. We pulled up to a house that look nice but when we walked in guns drugs and naked girls were every where. I was scared. I think the others were too but didn't want to admit it.

We did the exchange and got the drugs and we left as soon as possible. We got back to C's house and by the time we got back it was midnight. Since I was not going to have any cheese they have me the rest of the weed. After they [got it ready], I watched one by one them stick the needle into their vains and eject the liquid. For the first ten minutes, they were fine but one by one almost in the same order they took the drug they went into a seizure. As high as I was I knew what was going on so I ran down the street to get my friend. We carried each one of my ODing friends and threw them into C's car. I started the car and drove to the local hospital. With my jacket and ball cap covering my face, I took four wheelchairs and my friend help me put them in the wheel chairs. I pushed two of them in and the other two my friend pushed right into the emergency room. The secretary ask what was wrong but me and my friend ran back to the car and put it in drive and we were gone.

B. lived and got put on probation. T died but was brought back to life and is now homeschooled. C is now in rehab; he is there for 4 years. And for J he has been clean since then. This is one of the many reasons I don't touch any thing with a needle.

Poem: What do I see?

WHAT DO I SEE

I SEE A BOY CRYING FOR HELP,
THAT BEEN IN THE DARKNESS TO LONG,
THAT LOOKING FOR LIGHT

WHAT DO I SEE

I SEE A BOY LOOK FOR LOVE
BUT CAN'T FIND BECAUSE
BECAUSE?
THERE ARE TO MUCH HATRED AND PREJUDICE IN THE WORLD,

WHAT DO I SEE,

I SEE A BOY TRYING TO DO GOOD,
BUT HE TRAP IN A WALL OF BAD

NOW,


WHAT DO I SEE

I SEE A BOY THAT BECAME SUCCESSFUL,

YEAH YEAH SUCCESSFUL,

THAT BOY HAS THE WORLD IN HIS HAND,


NOW,

WHAT I SEE

I SEE A BOY THAT BECAME A MAN

B.M.

Poem: I am Lonely

I am lonely
I wonder why she did this to me
I heard her words
I saw she was lying to me
I want everything to be okay
I am lonely
I pretend I don't care
I feel betrayed
I do wish I could forgive her
I worry I will never be able to
I cry because the pain is unbearable
I am lonely
I understand she is sorry
I say it is not okay
I wish things could be the way they were
I hope some day I can forgive and forget
I am lonely

Poem: I am a Miracle

I am a miracle.
I wonder who to save.
I hear your prayers.
I see your heartache.
I want to help.
I am a miracle.

I pretend to be happy.
I feel put down.
I do not distress.
I worry no one cares.
I cry at your loss.
I am a miracle.

I understand how you feel.
I say what is needed.
I wish you believe in me.
I try to save you.
I hope you know.
I am a miracle.

T.H., age 17

Poem: "I"

He broken your heart,
He smashed it,
He ripped it,
But,
But I,
I repair it,
Like,
Like a broken house,
I fix it,
I made it into something,
Something BIG
BIGGER than my dream,

He lies to you,
He cheat it,
He left you,
I,
I comforted you,
I protected you,
He lost you,
Like,
Like time on a clock,
But,
But I found you,
Like a lost puppy,
He destroyed you,
Like hope and dream,
I build you,
Like a steal wall,
No,
More than a steal wall,
Like an independent wall,

He see's you as a trash,
I see's you as a Queen,

B.M.

Poem: O&A

While here in O&A, we should try to do our best
It's not a walk in the park
We are in here for a test.
I mean, come on, if any of us here are wishing to succeed,
Then each and every one of us better be willing to believe.
When our time in here is done,
 on the outs, we gotta give it our all.
We gotta go out there and shoot for the stars and try not to fall.
Don't let your haters bring you down
 they can't diss your shine.
All you gotta do is turn around, walk away, and say it doesn't hurt.
Keep trying.

J.H.

Fiction Writing Prompt: "3 Keys"

"You were just given three keys. 
They will open anything you want. 
Use your imagination! 

What do they open?" 

"1# Key to all of the doors in this place [O&A]. 2# Key to a Skyline car. 3# Key to the biggest manchine [mansion] in the world."

"1-Basement; 2- House; 3- Car."

"1. Freedom. 2. Better Life. 3. House."

"1. Mortuary. 2. Army Tank. 3. Gen X store."

"1. My escape from here. 2. Key to the city. 3. Plane to Las Vegas, Nevada."

"One of these key's go to the New York Giant's locker room as starting QB! One of these key's go to the bigest manchin [mansion] in the world and one go's to a 2010 Camaro."

"1. All the doors to Farmington Bay. 2. My dream house. 3. Key to my brand new black and yellow lambo Mercialargo with suicide doors and tinted windows and 20" rims."

"Key 1 goes to a ferreri enzo. Key 2 is to a mansion. Key 3 is to knowing everything."

"Success. Key to my 2011 Chrysler. Room full of money."

"64 Chevy Impala with the top down. Family. Secoryaty key."

"Car Cobra. Skelten Key. Heart."

"Key to being President's personal assistant or a key that opens everything. Key to Audi R8 SPYDER Coupe with black chrome and 18" rims. Key to a magic geni lamp that will give me unlimited wishes."

"Freedom. Happines. Reunite."

"1. Freedom. 2. Education/School. 3. Play for REAL Salt Lake."

"1. The key to be free in any way, shape, or form. 2. The key to the universe. 3. The key to fort Knox."

"1.One key is a key to my freedom and I won't be free unless I use it properly. 2. One key is a key to my success. The lock it goes to is not easy to open but if I work hard to open it I can open it. 3. One key is the key to all the knowledge in the world. This lock is also hard to open but with enough work I can get it."

Everyone Has a Story: "Have you Seen Me?"

I was sitting at home and the police kicked in my door and I said "Mom, don't let them take me." Then before I could run to my mom the police had a hold on me and and he said "Do you think you're so tough?" So I said "Screw you, I'll throw you on the ground and beat you with your night stick." Then he threw me in the back of the car and I said "Where are you taking me?" and he said "I'm taking you to the big house with the big boys and the big guys." Then he started laughing so I spit in his face and said "Screw the police."

Then we started to drive away and I saw my mom on her knees on the front lawn and she was crieing and I started crieing too so I asked "Can I go say bye to my mom?" So he said "No, you were caught with weed now you are being arrested." So I said "Please, I cann't be taken from my mom without saying bye." But he kept driving and we turned a corner and my mom was cut of sight so I started crieing even more and I said "How can you take me from my mom and not let me say bye to her?" and he said "Because it my job to arrest people and take them to lock up facilities like the one you're going to called _____________." So I said "So why can't I just say bye to her?" and he said "Just shut up and wait till we get to the YOUTH CENTER then you can call her from there and say what you want to say to her." So I said "But I want to tell her in person" and he said "You can't because I have orders to take you here." And I said "Who cares if you brake one order?" Then we pulled in front of the _______ Youth Center and he took me inside and the people at the front desk said "You're back again?" Then a week later I went to court and got a 30 day pryer release to O&A. When I went to court my Judge said "You're going to Farmington Bay O&A for 45 days." This is my life experience.

L., age 13

Poem: The Bullet

I have a cold blooded heart
And that's just the start
I destroy lives
I destroy nations
There's nowhere to hide

I kill for fun
I will make you die in the sun
The danger I am
is slow moving but burning pain
if you use me
you will go insain

Yes I am loud
But I create much sorrow
even more maby tomorrow

I am a loud dark shadow
in every city, and every town
I'm easily hidden I'm easily found

I fly fast and straight
But I have little weight
I destroy every thing in my path
I might even kill you with a
ratatatat.

I can end up in your arm
I can end up in your leg
But whatever you do, you might end up dead.
There's many ways to use me
But I kill as many people as you can see

When your loaded in the clip
You better not even trip
Cause when I read the chamber
You may already know
there's instant danger.

I'm a dangerous addiction
I can even make you have a
Artificial resperation
to much tim I wait
when I wish I had some thing to relaite

Sometimes I'm fat
Sometimes I'm skinny
But what every you do
I always put you in the gurny

I can shoot through the wall
I can shoot in the sky
But I can assure you I'm telling no lie

I know I'm evil I know I am bad
But I'm sorry if I make you sad
The way you see me
is not from a bat
but from a barrell of a gun

That's how I am
That's how I'll be
for ever and ever
so now you see.

R.C., age 17.

Poem: I am in Love

I am in love
I wonder what she is doing
I hear her say I love you
I see her beautiful smile
I want to be home with her
I am in love

I pretend I'm somewhere else
I feel so amazing with her by my side
I do everything for her
I worry if she is ok
I cry when she cries
I am in love

I understand her feelings
I say I love you
I wish she was with me
I try to make her happy
I hope we last
I am in love

R.P., age 17

"Looking Back"

"Looking Back"

by Sarah Southerland

(based on a true experience) 

            “Wh—” I cleared my throat. “What are we doing here, Dad?”

            My dad glanced around him, then looked over his shoulder. “Your mom said she’d meet us here.”

            Why would Mom meet us here? My visit wasn’t over for another week and a half. I looked around us too. “But she’s not here.”

            Dad’s eyes darkened. “She said she’d be here,” he scowled. He pushed an empty soda can across the parking lot with his dirty shoe and looked at his watch again.  And again.

            Twenty minutes late, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “Listen, pal, I gotta take off. Your mom will be here. Wait here until she shows up. Don’t talk to no one.”

            “But—”

            He glared at me.

            “Alright,” I mumbled.

            He pulled open his wallet and shoved a crinkled five dollar bill at me. “Use this if you need it. Don’t talk to no one. Wait here.”

            “Alright.”

            Without another word, he took off. He never looked back. I sat down on the curb along the motel parking lot and waited. And waited. And waited. I didn’t talk to anyone. There was no one to talk to. I didn’t have a watch. I didn’t know how much time was passing. I tried counting the cars passing on the street.

            After the 40^th car, the motel manager told me to get off his property. He had cigarette dangling out of his mouth and two days worth of a beard. He stunk like my dad did.

            I moved to the sidewalk by the dumpster. I sat on the side near the road so the stinky manager couldn’t see. I slumped down and kept counting. I must have fallen asleep after the 97^th car. When I woke up, the sky was dark and I was very cold. I pulled my hoodie tighter around me and hugged my knees to my chest.

            “I thought I told you to get lost!” I heard someone yelling.

            The manager was back.

            I scrambled to my feet and tried to explain. He wouldn’t listen. He yelled at me until someone called the cops. Then the cops walked him inside, yelling all the way about the teenage trash in the neighborhood ruining his business.

            The officer asked me a lot of questions. I felt the wrinkled five dollar bill in my pocket. I tried to smooth it out with my fingers and answer the questions without getting anyone in trouble. I couldn’t answer the questions and keep counting the cars. I saw the officer’s watch: 9:27. The clock in my dad’s truck said 1:38 right before I climbed out. I thought we were getting a drink. I thought I still had a week and a half left with our visitation.

            The officer gave me a blanket and let me sit in the back of his patrol car to warm up. I thought of all the times I had seen my dad taken and away and tried to imagine how he felt. He was probably too wasted to even know. I watched the clock on the dashboard slowly move. 9:48. 9:49. 9:50.

            A lady with a white government car showed up at 10:15. She took me to a children’s shelter to spend the night because they couldn’t find my mom. She thought I had a week and a half left on my visitation too.

            I never saw my dad again.

            He never looked back. 

Author's Note: Every week I hear the life stories of my teens and they break my heart. This was the first story I heard that I knew I had to put into words. I did change the info (because I didn't know all the info), but the essence of the story is the same. I wish I could say it's a "Happily Ever After" story, but it's just too soon to tell....